I went to the gynecologist yesterday for the first time in probably 6 years. It's not that my vaginal health isn't important to me, it's that I truly get anxiety going to the doctor. My brain becomes an irrational mess + I automatically think the worst. But it was time. Having PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndome) means crazy irregular periods plus a whole plethora of other things that are the opposite of fun to deal with. One of the non-fun related things is that my period has been no show for over 3 months. That used to be the norm for me + i just accepted that as my fate, but when I did my first whole 30 almost 2 years ago my period was the picture of normal. It lasted up to 5 days, my flow wasn't crazy, + my moods seemed balanced + normal. I did a round of whole 30 in  august (after a missed period) + nothing happened. Now, 2 months later my period still hasn't shown. My moods are erratic, I'm bloated, + I just feel crampy + awful. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to take control of my life + my body. The doctor I went to seems caring + thoughtful + I truly appreciate that in someone who's looking at my vajayjay. The initial visit was okay, I need to get labs + have an ultrasound + go from there. If If I don't get my period by the time I go for my ultra sound (which is in a week and a half), the doctor will have to induce my period. She also mentioned hormonal birth control to regulate my period + that makes me anxious because hormonal birth control makes me nuts, gain weight, + want to kill my loved ones. I wanted to do this without medication. Is that possible? I'd really like to do this without medication. Starting on Sunday I plan on doing a clean eating restart to get back to healthy eating habits + gain control over my cravings + finally transition into a paleo/clean eating lifestyle. Having the doctor recommend hormonal birth control was just the kick I needed to get my shit together + finally do what I set out to do two weeks ago..go paleo + really clean up my eating. I'll use this blog to update what's going on with my appointments + how I'm feeling. I could use good vibes for sure.

-Alex